What the hell
by Ember Carsyn
Summary: A pissed off Cora sends Hook to London, where he drops in, unexpectedly, on a famous consulting detective. Of course, it never ends simply does it? *on hiatus due to personal issues*
1. Chapter 1

"Who the hell are you?" Hook spluttered as he stood up slowly, wondering first of all where he was. He knew it hadn't been a good idea to be around Cora when she was upset, but Cora was on his ship and he was trying to protect _his _ship.

"Well, finally, someone who doesn't read your blog John," the man called off of the side of the building. "He just asked me who the hell am I!"

"Do you want to answer the question any time soon or do I need to gut you?"

"You believe that you can gut me, and..."

"Don't show off to strange people again!" A disembodied voice yells from below; Hook presumes that this must be the John mentioned by the first stranger.

"Now, you are obviously sea-faring, having recently sailed and your hand looks like it was injured at least forty years ago, but you look surprisingly young for your age, but there are no signs of plastic surgery, botox, or any other such cosmetic enhancements. Your clothing is hand stitched, and your shoes are the effect of custom. They're the same clothes you've been wearing for many a year, but for some reason, they are not worn. You are, in effect, a quandary. You appear to have come out of the past."

"Wrong. I was in Storybook, in the world Regina cursed us to. Cora sent me here, and where is here. You all talk extremely funnily." Hook retorted.

"Storybook? Cursed to? Impossible!" The man hissed. "You are in England, by the way."

"England? Where's that!" Hook felt like panicking. He wanted to rip Cora's heart out or find where Cora had hid it and slowly crush it. For once, his hatred for Rumpelstiltskin was transferred to a different person entirely.

"You have no clue where England is either." The man seemed rather perplexed. "This is astonishing."  
"SHERLOCK! HURRY UP! I DON'T WANT TO GET ARRESTED AGAIN!" The man's voice called from below again, the self-same John most likely, Hook decided.

"Sherlock? What sort of name is that?" Hook asked, deciding he wanted to be as annoying as possible.

"You must be telling the truth, which means that there is some important scientific study here, unless, as is most likely the case, you suffer from a mental disorder and you don't know anything of reality, only a world your mind has made up that is completely unreal."

Hook spluttered. "You're crazy. I am NOT insane. Cora's going to rip your heart out and crush it, killing you."

"You most certainly are insane," the tall elegant man, Sherlock apparently, declared emphatically. "And I am never ever wrong, AM I JOHN?"  
"SHERLOCK!" John's voice rang out. "HURRY UP!"

Hook glared daggers at Sherlock the best he could. "You're a bastard." He charged at the other man, who deftly side-stepped the charge.

"Actually, my parents were indeed married when they had me, and also when they had my older brother Mycroft, who I am sure will grant me the research money to properly research your condition Mr...Hook?"

"It's Captain."  
"You don't have a ship or any sort of obvious military rank, so you are simply Mr. Hook." Sherlock pointed out, with that cold calculated, but brilliant and wonderful way of his.

"It's Captain DAMMIT!" Hook charged again, even angrier this time. "You'll sing to a different tune soon you jack..."  
Sherlock grabbed Hook's arm and used Hook's own momentum to propel Hook past him, pushing him on the shoulder and the small of the back, so that Hook found himself falling, seeing a very strange landscape ahead of him, and a very startled man trying to get out of the way of the falling Hook.

"Shit," Hook muttered, as Sherlock brushed his hands off on each other and

**AN: Sorry if they're OC. I had this idea while squeeing about OUaT and Sherlock with a friend. I don't own any of this, unfortunately. Now off to finish my Poli-Sci reading. That class is insane. I'm going to revise this probably , or extend it, but I'm definitely playing with this idea a LOT more. **


	2. Chapter 2-Emma's POV part 1

**AN: I know the last bit cuts off. Hook goes flying basically. I have to find the document (it disappeared and doc manager lost it somehow) and edit it. Here's part one of a tiny continuation that showed up while I was trying to work on an OC story I have in the OUaT universe.**

I pulled the popcorn out of the microwave and sat back, opening it up as I put my feet up on my desk. "Alright, I'm the sheriff, so can you please explain why you want to see me?"

"Are you not unawares of the very intriguing set of circumstances that have seemingly fallen over this village in, where are we again, Maine?"  
"Storybrooke Maine. You're obviously not from around here, are you? This is normal for us."  
The man looks out the window at his rather befuddled companion. "Normal you say? Most intriguing. This seems to be something I should put my attention to right away. We'll discuss my consulting fee later."  
"Your consulting fee?" I take my feet off the desk, the popcorn being set down unceremoniously. My parents may be royalty, but I'm still the same person I've always been. "Hold on for a moment you Brit."  
"Well, at least one of you can correctly identify where I'm from." The man looked closely at me and then started to trance out. It weirded me out.  
"Emma! Darling it's been ages since you were such a bitch and left me on top of that bean stock!" Hook walks in and I groan. More problems. Wonderful.  
"Here Hook, be a doll and help out with this. Watch this British visitor while I go corral his friend and pick Henry up from school."  
I deliberately leave one of the old walkie-talkies from when Henry and I had to meet covertly on where it's hidden, but can still pick up enough sound so I can follow what's going on. I look the two of them inside the office and hope that lasts.  
"Who are you?"  
"My name is Sherlock."  
"Oh God...it's you...I don't know how Cora... i mean...I shouldn't even have my memories..."  
"You are obviously still suffering from delusions, and I must admit, your survival is intriguing. We shall have to compare notes at some point."  
"Notes? Cora is screwing with me!"  
"Excuse me," I walk up to the man, Sherlock's friend, if Sherlock is the guy with Hook's real friend. "Can you tell me anything about what's going on? I'm Sheriff Swan."  
"Ah...John...John Watson. I'm sorry about Sherlock. He...doesn't play well with most others."  
"Oh don't worry. I'm used to people like that. We're a bunch of characters." I'm tempted to laugh at what I just said-we're more than characters, by a long shot. "So, how did you get here?"  
"Sherlock. He dragged me here. I had to cancel a date." The man, John, seems pissed. I shake his hand finally, realizing I should be a bit more polite. Mary Margaret-Snow-Mom-would be frustrated. She was trying to teach me court etiquette currently.  
"Look, that sucks. I haven't been on a date in a while, things have been crazy. If she isn't insane, she'll understand hopefully." I see the bus coming and I start walking. "I have to go pick up my son. Why don't you come along and tell me about Sherlock? If you're John Watson, he must be Sherlock Holmes. Henry will probably have some theory. And then we need to see Mr. Gold about taking care of Cora."  
John follows, like a confused puppy. Not a loving, doting puppy, but a confused and bewildered puppy who is about to just stop and not move until life makes sense.  
Welcome to Storybrook.


	3. Announcement Announcement ANNOUNCEMENT

ATTN:

This isn't going to be finished. The general idea is being recycled into a new crossover story that will hopefully see the light of day other than various emailed documents.


End file.
